Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but I've been told there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Any advice would be helpful, many thanks.

intriguing some of the times after superpole, a few pleasant suprises 
















1. Carlos Checa ESP Alstare Ducati 1199 R 1m 30.234s
2. Eugene Laverty IRL Aprilia Racing RSV4 1m 30.429s
3. Michel Fabrizio ITA Red Devils Roma Aprilia RSV4 1m 30.581s
4. Tom Sykes GBR Kawasaki Racing ZX-10R 1m 30.615s
5. Marco Melandri ITA BMW GoldBet S1000RR HP4 1m 30.615s
6. Sylvain Guintoli FRA Aprilia Racing RSV4 1m 30.683s
7. Leon Camier GBR Fixi Crescent Suzuki GSX-R1000 1m 30.991s
8. Leon Haslam GBR Pata Honda CBR1000RR 1m 30.998s
9. Jonathan Rea GBR Pata Honda CBR1000RR 1m 31.742s
10. Davide Giugliano ITA Althea Aprilia RSV4 1m 31.283s
11. Loris Baz FRA Kawasaki Racing ZX-10R 1m 31.576s
12. Chaz Davies GBR BMW GoldBet S1000RR HP4 1m 31.870s
13. Max Neukirchner GER MR Ducati 1199 R 1m 32.010s
14. Jamie Stauffer AUS Honda Racing CBR1000RR 1m 32.353s
15. Ivan Clementi ITA HTM Racing BMW S1000RR 1m 32.773s
16. Glenn Allerton AUS Next Gen BMW S1000RR 1m 32.352s
17. Jules Cluzel FRA Fixi Crescent Suzuki GSX-R1000 1m 32.402s
18. Alexander Lundh SWE Pedercini Kawasaki ZX-10R 1m 33.487s
19. Ayrton Badovini ITA Alstare Ducati 1199 R 1m 32.540s
20. Federico Sandi ITA Pedercini Kawasaki ZX-10R 1m 32.898s
21. Vittorio Iannuzzo ITA Grillini Dentalmatic BMW S1000RR 1m 33.082s

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once

before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lord... And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

 

Not long now........ Get the Barby ready lads.....  stock up your freezers....







 

went up to see Foggy & Whit last night and have to say its one of the funniest things ever..................

Whitham just fooked and cursed all night and Foggy was really dry but cracked some one-liners and set Whit up big style..........was good to see two guys enjoying themselves and not being too seriouc and showbiz 

http://www.foggyandwhit.co.uk/

even saw some other noteable (should that be notorious  ) forum members there,
Tight5, Toot, his missus and the trackday mob..............

usual pressure of too many projects and distinct lack of time means something has to give and have decided to part with this 1982 Suzuki Katana 750

imported in 1994 it shows 7 keepers, but prior to my purchase it had been stored for a number of years...........
a number of fairly minor service / electrical jobs (and fresh fuel) were all that was required to get this back to running order and sailed through its MOT on the 28th September with no advisories (technically failed for small no. plate but easily sorted, both included) - completed a 30mile round trip with a smile  8-)

very std bike apart from the obvious colour change and original (good quality) Harris 4-1 exhaust, speedo convertor fitted, even has centre stand intact
clocks show 3115miles (presumably not genuine??) and although not currently taxed could be at cost if required

it does require some cosmetic attention but is very useable as is - paintwork has a number of scratches/marks, as does the frame and screen is cracked but repaired to use/MOT - remember this is 30yrs old!!

never any police about when you want one............. [8D]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5dL4DPm-DE&feature=youtu.be

Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey's died.'
Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.'
Paddy said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'
Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!'
Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, ' What happened with that dead donkey?'
Paddy said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £2 each and made a profit of £898
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £2 back.'

Paddy now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland!